Rob Does Words
Treating fiction poorly since 2019

20 January 2024


Everyone knows the story. Its a kids tale, something to tell them before bed. Its been made into I dont know how many movies and shows and other media. Its at the point these days where there are some people who dont realise that the story is actually true.

Now, it should be noted that its the original story thats true. Most of these multimedia adaptations barely skim the surface of the actual story in lieu of fast paced action sequences, romantic entanglements and invented backstory in order to drag it out for however long they had to toy with their audiences attention.

The original story, the actual events that happened, are retold very quickly. Like I said, its a kids story. Its easy to remember, easy to digest and kids love it. It has everything they want – gods, a hero, and a real place that they can go to – the tomb.

Ive been to the tomb, seen the sealed door. Peered through the drillholes. Ive seen the sarcophagus. Its fine, I guess, if youre into that sort of thing. What I had hoped to find was something else. Something related to the actual events that happened before he was entombed, and meant to be forgotten about. But theres nothing. Theres nothing engraved on the walls. Theres no lore like you would find in a museum. Besides the mostly still sealed tomb itself, theres nothing there older than 50-something years.

Ok, but Im getting ahead of myself. Lets slow down and start from the start.


You know the story, of course. A monster roamed the world, terrorising everyone. It ruled over a great chunk of the Mediterranean coastline before a group of heroes rose up and took the fight to it. Then it was revealed that this monster was really just a mage of some kind, using illusion and fear to perpetuate his rule. The heroes won and locked him away in the tomb, far from his kingdom, with the hope that this monster would be forgotten and no one would ever try to do what he had done.

Classic stuff. Kinda boring in parts, but what can you do? There are lots of attempts to find something to fill in the gaps or to make the boring bits not. But each one failed in some way; none of them quite hit that note of satisfaction that comes with a complete story. They were, in some way, missing something.

Not that I claim to have any great insight into what they were missing. Im not here to rehash the story, or to find something that everyone missed since the tomb was discovered. That isnt who I am. But I have to admit some curiosity. We know things about this wizard, or mage, or whatever because he ruled over many lands, each of which kept their own records, much of which has survived to this day.

But we dont know who these heroes were. Theres very little written about them until it comes time to rise up and defeat the mage. What makes it more interesting is that primary sources from that part of the world just cannot agree on how many there were. Some say it was just one person, a man, or warrior, from the far east. Come to rid the world of what he saw as some rogue spirit from his lands.

Others say there are three. Children who grew up under the rule and destruction of the mage, out for revenge and motivated by their own anger and the loss of their families.

The story that most people believe is the five member party. A group of people from across the world, each with their own reasons for opposing the mage. In one version of the story, a version I particularly like, they are acting independent of each other and arrive at the final battle coincidentally at the same time, like some universal coincidence; theyre given the cosmic greenlight to take down this mage.

Ultimately, we dont, and likely wont, know anything about these heroes. They appeared from nowhere, rid the world of this mage, and then faded back into obscurity. Kinda disappointing if you ask me.

Except, theres one book that has another story of these events; its one of the worst adaptations of the original and adds a lot just for the sake of it. It was written long after these events were meant to have happened, and the author asserts that they are descended from one of the people involved.

The identity of this author was never confirmed and no other records mention any of the events in this book. But remember when I said earlier about all those other adaptations missing something? Lacking that satisfaction needed to have a story sit right after youve read it?

I have the opposite feeling when I read this book. I feel the satisfaction of having the story fit nicely but its missing the actual story. It recounts the events, sure, but its almost like a presentation where the author is just recounting what others have said. Its the little excerpts, written between the major events of the story, added like annotations, that tickle the back of my head. Makes me ask questions.


The tomb, as I said, it pretty bland. They keep it sealed – drill holes notwithstanding – to prevent contaminants from getting in. Every so often, theyll send a small camera though, trying to see if anything has changed or if they missed anything. Each time I see the announcement, I yell at the TV or the radio or the magazine that they wont find anything. Im so sure of it, but like a lot of things, I dont know why.

I dont live far from the tomb, a few hundred miles. The tomb itself is in the middle east. Along the border of three countries, in a space that none of them really want to claim. As a kid I always wanted to visit the tomb. I wanted to see the story, written for real, by the people who made it, on the walls. I dont know why I thought the story would be written there, but my kid brain just assumed it would be. After all, there had to be a start to this story; the first place it was written, and you would think the tomb – meant to be forgotten – would have it, just in case it was found again. But no.

As I grew older, and looked more into the story, I kept hitting upon the same question, asked so many times, by so many people: if this mage ruled over the Mediterranean, why is he entombed in the middle east? Why so far from where his supposed seat of power was? There was nothing in the original story that explained that. A few of the adaptations addressed it, but it was all variations on the same theme: thats where the final battle took place. They each made their own lore that described why the final battle took place there, but none of them really made sense. They only did it because thats how the story ends. There wasnt any real reason for it; very unsatisfying.

I came up with an answer, though. I dont like the answer, so I never showed anyone. But its the only answer that really, truly, makes sense. It doesnt contradict anything we already know and it, in some ways, explains a lot: that tomb isnt the tomb of the mage.


Ive been travelling a lot. Following the story, not that anyone knows this. There are a few places where the mage was known to have spent time, the obvious one is the Genoa region of Italy; that was his capital and where he lived most of his life. The city that sits there now, while it shares the same name as the old city that used to be there, is vastly different these days and countless people have come through here on a search for ‘the truth’ about the mage, and the heroes who put him down.

Its a beautiful place, and I wouldnt mind spending time there if I was able to. But its not the city I think is the important one. That book, the one that intrigues me, it mentions another city, relatively close to Genoa, but out of the way. Turin. Ive been here for a few weeks now and this city is totally different to Genoa and the cities Ive lived in. Its quiet, secluded and almost forgotten. Theres something about it that just feels right.

Theres a large hill, just on the outskirts of town, and at its peak is one of the few castles in this part of Europe. Its publicly owned and you could, once, go on tours through it. But earthquakes and other hazards have meant that its closed for tours. The only people that go up there are government inspectors, making sure it hasnt fallen down. No historians, no TV crews. Just workers who dont, or wont, look any further than they need to to get their jobs done. Which, to me, says people who dont pay attention, period. Which means its my best shot.

In the dead of night, dressed as warm as I can, I sneak in past the fence that is very bad at keeping people out of here. I take nearly an hour to hike up the hill and take a breather at the front door of the castle. A quick use of certain skills I picked up as a younger person, and the door swings open before me. There are no electric lights here, no alarms or motion detection systems. Its as if the castle hasnt been touched in thousands of years. The thought tickles that one part of my brain.

I stumble my way around the main lobby before seeing what I knew I would: a door that could only lead down. Its taped off with large DO NOT ENTER banners. Presumably, the earthquakes have damaged whatever is underneath there. I ignore it and walk down the stairs behind it, my way lit by a small flashlight I bought a few days earlier.

I get to the bottom of the stairs and shine the light around. There was definitely some damage down here, a large rock had been dislodged from the hill and was sitting in the middle of the floor. I looked around and found nothing. No other doors leading to a secret tomb. No thick leather book detailing certain events that had happened thousands of years ago. Nothing.

Nothing except a giant rock, ripped from the wall of the hill itself, sitting on the floor. I shone the torch all over it again, until I shone it on the floor where it sat, almost ready to give up on this fools errand. Underneath the rock, barely visible, was the clear edge of a hatch in the floor.